On the Day You Were Born

Today is Brecken's Half Birthday!
After six full months I'm finally ready to share
The Day He Was Born

I began writing it months ago.
I've taken things out.
Added things.
Taken things back out.
Each day I change my mind on how much I want to share.

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On the day you were born (technically we'll start the day BEFORE you were born since we were born in the wee hours).......

It was March 16, 2013 and Auntie Sandy happened to ask to have Victoria and Christian for the night, just for fun.  We were supposed to drop them off at 3:00 and we stopped for lunch at Chili's and arrived at Auntie Sandy's at 2:52.  I was weird about times, so I know.  We dropped off Victoria and Christian and off we went.  When I got home I kept working on Liv's bday gift knowing it was going to be a really close call to having it done. (It's STILL not done!!)  I started not feeling perfect so I came upstairs and told Mark we should go for a walk.  That was nothing new.  We had been hiring babysitters so we could walk malls at night.  I walked a mall as fast as anybody else and with anybody who would walk with me!  

Mark said he was sick of Maplewood Mall and Mall of America so let's try South Dale Mall in Edina.

I had been having contractions throughout the day but I had been for the past week so I didn't think too much of it.  The more I walked, the faster, the better.

We got to the mall and Mark went to Macy's and was trying on clothes.  I took a picture of something funny and texted it to Laura and then had to lean against a wall my contraction was so strong.

Then we started walking.

It was excruciating!

It felt like the baby was actually going to fall right out! 

Hello!  You are in labor!

Even though we drove so far and it was my idea, it was so painful I said let's go home.

"You really don't want to walk?" Mark asked me?

I had been soooo obsessed with walking.  

On the way home we were talking about what to have for dinner.

I distinctly remember thinking there's No Way in Hell I Can Eat but I knew Mark had to eat.

So we went to Jake's just up the street from us.

I don't remember what I ordered but I know we had wings for an appetizer and I ate two.

I didn't eat a bite of my meal and put it in a To-Go box (which was thrown out a couple days later).

I was keeping track of my contractions while at the dinner table.

But I wasn't that worried since I totally thought I was in labor the week before and I wasn't.

So I carried on.  

We stopped at home and then headed over to Liv's birthday party.

We were super late but I was pretty sure since I was actually nine months pregnant plus the possibility of being in labor she was just going to be happy we actually showed up.  

Super duper unfortunately we don't have a picture of us.

In reality Mark and I stood there super uncomfortable, because we had - Holy shit is this baby going to be born tonight? on our minds.

We didn't stay long.  Maybe 30 minutes or so and I finally caved and said I didn't feel well and needed to get home to lie down.  Liv and I hugged and she said, "Why is your stomach so hard?"  "Because I've been having contractions the entire time I've been standing here."
Hello!  You are in labor!

No matter how many children you bear and how much you prepare and visualize...

it's nothing like when it really happens.

I decided to lay in bed like I had the week previous when labor stopped.

From looking up my app I can have the contractions recorded as:

10:21

10:24

10:26

10:33

10:35

10:37

10:39

10:42

10:47

10:48

10:50

10:55

10:58

10:59

11:03

11:06

11:09

11:12

11:14

Yes, I waited this whole time to call the hospital.

Hello!  You are in labor!

Looking at these time even if you've never given birth you'd be yelling at me to get to the hospital.

But the didn't last long enough to 'qualify' as real contractions according to the little sheet.

So it continued:

11:17

11:19

11:21

11:23

11:25

11:28

11:30

(I laugh as I am typing these times.  Umm, yep in labor!!)

11:33

11:35

11:38

11:41

11:43

11:44

11:47

11:49

11:52

11:54

11:56

12:01

12:04

FINALLY I decided to make the call. 

I didn't want to be the girl sent home. 

After I answered literally 50 questions while in labor she said we should head to the hospital.  

Some how I was still surprised.  We waited nine months.  This was it.  We had to leave.

The nurse on the line actually said, "Congratulations Honey!  Now don't dawdle!"

I felt packing a bag was bad luck so instead I did it in labor.  By the time I walked down the hall and to down the steps I yelled to Mark,"Don't waist any time!!!!!  WE NEED TO LEAVE!"

I didn't really pack.  I applied some makeup.  Yes, I was that girl who actually put on eye makeup because I thought labor would be so easy.  

I could hear Mark's footsteps rushing around upstairs.

I came up.

We grabbed the diaper bag with boy and girl outfits inside.

We went outside in the freezing cold.

My contractions were so strong I had to hesitate getting into the minivan.

I got in and about 12:35 and we were on our way. 

Then I realized it was St. Patrick's Day and said, 

"Goddamn it! It's St. Patrick's Day!!!"
It was one of the two days I didn't want to have the baby in March.

On the 35E Mark was driving in the right lane almost ready to get off and I said,

"Mark, don't stop looking at the road.  But you've got to get me there as fast as possible.  This baby is coming out!!" As I grabbed the handle above the door.

I was so nervous about drunk drivers on St. Patrick's Day I just wanted to get there safely.

We headed into the ramp like we practiced when we went for our classes. 

I told him then I didn't want to be dropped off at the I'm Having a Baby Door.

#1 I didn't want to walk in alone.

#2 I know walking is the best thing when you're in labor.

#3 I just wanted to make the long walk.

As I got out of the minivan I was happy and excited and was pretty sure this was the real thing and then I had a hard and strong contraction and was leaning against the back of the minivan huffing and puffing and doing my breathing.

Mark was about 15 yards away and actually I QUOTE "Come on, we have to get going." 

I swear to you, he said those words.

I didn't know if I should laugh or feel bad for him.

I said, "Pretty sure nothing's going to happen til I get there anyway.  Relax."

We walked slowly to the elevator.

We walked into the desolate hospital.

It was dark.

Nobody anywhere.

We walked up to security and he said with no emotion:

"Maternity. That door."

At that time I didn't care, but seriously I'm about to give birth to a miracle!

Some emotion is a good thing!

We walked through those maternity doors and I was in pretty good labor at that point. 

I pretty much couldn't talk because they the contractions we coming so fast but still not as long as you'd think.  We were pre-registered and I was doubled over in pain and this dude at the counter started asking Mark to fill in paperwork.  I just about lost it.  I walked back over to them and started to say we were already registered and had the strongest contraction yet on his little counter and suddenly I was admitted.  Somehow, in my mind I was still hoping they wouldn't send me home.

(Now typing this I bet they were happy I didn't have him on the floor!)

In I went to the room where you change into a gown and get checked.  

I had some more contractions before I could get the gown on the lady peeked her head in to check on me.

I finally made it to the bed and I was a 5.

I was there to stay!

My parents had just let that very morning, for a two week vacation.
Bad timing!  

So I had Mark take this picture of me to send to my dad.

We didn't let anyone else know.

The week before I left 5 people 'know' I was in labor so this time I wanted to keep it private which turned out to be blessing.  

This is when we were sure something was going to happen!

By the time I walked across the hall I looked like this.

I was a 7.

I asked if my Aunt Kathy was working.

Suddenly everyone was so much nicer since I was Kathy's niece but unfortunately she was in Hawaii.

But we still got special treatment.

I told Mark to take as many pictures as he could.

The last two I didn't want pictures and this time I wanted to see.

I'm so glad I did.

Even though at the time I'm not sure I cared.

The pain was so intense I was yelling.

It was incredible.

I was shaking my head back and forth so hard.

I was sweating.

There are many other details I'm choosing not to share.

With Victoria my water broke in the bath tub.

With Christian my water broke when then they asked if she could break it and I gave a little push and broke it myself.

This time the contractions were so painful they said, "If I break your water it will be all over."

I'm totally Ms. Natural but I was like once you break it, it will be over.  But once you break it it's going to hurt so much more.  I agreed to it.  It was painless.  I felt the water. 

 Then I felt IMMENSE PAIN!!!

Unfortunately, once I pushed I knew it wasn't good.  I was dilated to 10 but the baby wasn't engaged.  

He wasn't down there waiting for me to push him out.

So I pushed and pushed and pushed and I could feel he wasn't ready.  

They kept having me push for a good half hour.

His heart rate dropped.

They put an oxygen mask on me.

It's horrible.

Even though you understand your baby must need it,

 your own body is telling you to whip that thing off.

It stinks and it's cumbersome as you're trying to talk.

Then they put an IV in my arm in case of a c-section because it seems to be going in that direction.

Soon after I accidentally pulled the IV out and blood started spurting all over.

They took it out and continued to yell at me to push.

After about a half an hour later the midwife called in the doctor and his team.  

They had me go to all fours.

I knew they did that with my friend and she soon had a c-section.

I looked at Mark and pulled off the mask and said,

"This isn't good," with tears in my eyes and probably the saddest face he's ever seen.

 I'll never forget looking into his eyes and he said, "Don't look into it.  You're going to do it.  Right now.  We're going to do it.  NOW PUSH!"

That's my clearest moment of the whole thing.

At first when he said, "Don't look in to it" it was like a joke.  Dude suddenly there's an extra 15 people in here all yelling at me to push and I can't seem to get this baby even close to out and I can feel it and the last thing I want is a c-section and I'm pretty sure that's the only way this baby will get out.

But then after he said that I looked at his face and beared down and pushed and grunted like never before.

I knew I literally had no choice.

46 minutest after that first push finally our baby made his way into the world.

Mark got to tell me it was a boy and it was so exciting!

He was weighed

8 lb 9 oz.

A big boy just like I predicted!

They laid him on my chest immediately after birth.

Between my exhaustion and his slipperiness I said,

"Get him, get him!"

He seemed to be sliding right off me and I was so weak.

Mark took over!

After 46 minutes of pushing and a couple hours of labor our beautiful baby boy was born at 3:01am.

Soon after this picture I asked Mark to take him.  I hadn't slept good in a couple weeks plus now I pushed our son out of my body.  

It was the most exhausted I know I've ever been. 

Even though I was sooooo happy I was soo tired!

We stayed in that room a full two hours.

It was 5am when they wheeled me while holding me brand new little baby to the private elevator.

We got into our miniature room.

Still dark outside.

Trying to nurse our two hour old baby boy.

We both tried to sleep as much as we could with the nurses coming in an out.

At 7am I told Mark to call Molly because not only are she and her husband the Godparents

she knew the sex the whole time and had the Hershey bars prepared for our guests. 

They said they'd be there about 9am.

I decided to take a bath about 8:10 and that's when I realized something was wrong.

I could not lift my right leg to get into the tub.

They reassured me it was because I "just had a baby."

Looking back, I totally know something was wrong.

I didn't have a stitch.

There was no reason I was this sore.

I was in complete pain when lifting my right leg.

I continued my bath and came out to find Molly and Brian happily loving on our brand new baby,

Finally those endorphins took over and I was over the moon.

The pain.

The exhaustion.

Whatever.

It was time to show off my precious son!

This was 8:30am on March 17, 2013

Handing him over to Godfather Brian.

Mark's selfie he sent to his friends:-)

There's a reason we didn't call anyone else to celebrate Brecken's birth that early that morning.

We didn't know it at the time but there was a reason we didn't call anyone else.

We were in for a shock of a lifetime and we were blessed to have Molly and Brian and 

ONLY Molly and Brian there for us.

Everything was about to change at 9:00am.