Are Those New Glasses?

I leaned down to kiss Victoria Good Night, she stops and says, "Ooooh, did you get new glasses Mommy?"
"No, I actually misplaced my other ones."
"Oh."  Pause.  "Because those actually look kinda weird. No offense or anything."
"Yeah, they're not my favorites."
"Well, good because, seriously, they are not cute.  Not one little bit."
"Ok, I got your point.  I'll got look for my other ones."
"Let me know if you can't find them.  I'll look in the morning.  You can't walk around the house like that."

20 Months

Brecken,
   Today you turned 20 months.  It may seem I don't always keep up with your monthly birthdays because I don't get your pictures professionally taken (like I did for your sis) or I don't have balloons all over (like we did for C) …but let me tell you…you are luckier than both of them.  Want to know why..because you HAVE both of them.  They adore you more than you will every know.  They love your smile and your everyday small achievements (possibly) more than I do.  Your brother and sister love you so much.  You have changed their lives for the better.  You have made both of them so much more responsible and caring.  When I ask them if they have their folders and such in the morning, they make sure you have Ning Ning.

Right now your favorites include:
Good Night Moon, smooching me as many times as you can convince me to in between your crib bars before you go to sleep, Lila at daycare, Mickey Mouse (even though your interest only lasts through the opening song - but you're very engaged with that 30 second song), yogurt, books in the car, cleaning, eating,  and of course Ning Ning.  Good God, you love your blankie.     And helping Momma.

For the record you're not actually a help at all, but I'd rather you be by my side and it take three times as long than not have you there.  No matter what we're doing.  Whether you're climbing into the dryer or banging on the cans to make chill.  I love your "help."

You're my angel baby and I never forget that.

Happy 20 months to my perfect baby.

While I was Complaining

I've been completely self involved in the last couple weeks.  Bitching and complaining to my friends.  Packing is so tiring.  So stressful.  Mark is driving me crazy.  We have so much crap it's so overwhelming.  I've broken out.  I've gotten some pretty bad head aches.

Why?

Because we are lucky enough to be putting our house on the market to buy a more suitable home for our family.

While I was bitching each and everyday….one of our fifth grade students lost her baby sister at just three weeks of age.

A mom gave birth, sent her baby to surgery and she never recovered.  Being a mom who sent her infant to surgery right after birth, this is just about more than I can handle.  I have a hard time talking about it.  But I can't stop thinking about it.

Today I saw the fifth grader.  I turned away from her without saying a word, not even a smile…because I couldn't.  I couldn't because I wasn't strong enough.  Hopefully, tomorrow I will be stronger. I'm not sure what I will say, but at least a hug will do.

It sure puts things into perspective.

I will continue to pray for some sort of peace for this family.