Happy Birthday to My Beautiful Daughter

Five years ago I dreamt of a daughter. 
I dreamt of a day when I would place my baby in her crib.
I dreamt of a day when my daughter would walk.
I dreamt of a day when my daughter would call me Mommy.
I dreamt of a day when I would go to my daughter's conference and hear all about the wonderful things she's doing and accomplishing in preschool.

I dreamt of a day when I would bring my daughter to the salon to get her nails painted.
I dreamt of a day when my daughter would read real words!

I dreamt of the day when I would enroll my daughter into kindergarten.

I dreamt of you and all the things we would do together long before April 14, 2006.

On that day my real dream came true.  I was a real mommy.  I was your mommy.  After all the planning and preparing our daughter finally arrived.  Gorgeous and healthy. 

I wanted to be the best mommy I could be to you.



I have marveled at how you grow and learn.  Even though you're quite small for your age, your confidence makes up for it.  You introduce kids to other kids with ease.  You speak to adults without being coaxed.

When you were a flower girl you were 4 going on 14.

You were so mature.

A perfect angel.

You are an amazing big sister.  Teaching Christian until he won't listen any longer.  Guiding him with your sweet teacher/mommy voice.  "Buddy, you better sit down or you're going to fall," you say ever so gently.

You are sweeter and more kind and cuter and smarter and more cuddly than in my wildest dreams.

Five years ago, with you in my belly, daddy and I went to a store to choose your room's decor.  We chose a princess theme.  I remember that day so vividly.  It was very important to me your room was just right  perfect for you to come home to.  We chose periwinkle walls with pink accents.  That very day I found your baby book.  It had a baby dressed as a princess on the cover.  Filling in a baby book, documenting all the wonderful things my very own baby did was a dream of mine.

I bought that baby book and looked through it over and over at the kitchen table.  I looked at the empty pages dreaming about what would fill it in.  That baby book started at the day you were born and would go all the way to your fifth birthday.  I remember thinking how far away that was.

Now, here it is today.  Exactly five years later. 

When you have a baby everyone says, "Enjoy it!  They grow up so fast!" 

Well, they aren't kidding.  Where have the last five years gone?

I'm am so so so thankful I've been so diligent in taking pictures and video of you growing up.

I can look back at pictures and they bring back so many memories.

I don't do as much dreaming as I used to.  Now, I'm more content enjoying where you're at right now. 

I don't know how much longer I'll be able to carry you on my hip.  How much longer I'll be the one brushing your teeth at night.  How much longer you'll still ask me to rock you before you lay down.  How much longer you'll request the Boo Boo Bunny when you get hurt.  How much longer you'll eat mouthful after mouthful of beans just because I ooh and ahh and tell you you're growing.  How much longer you'll not complain about getting your pictures taken and just stand there and pose while holding your little brother's hands.  How much longer you'll climb in my bed in the morning and snuggle right up to me.  How much longer you'll kiss me on the lips.  How much longer you'll hold my hand every chance you'll get.

I don't know how much longer, but I'm going to enjoy every second of it. 

I love you.

Happy birthday to my angel.  My darling daughter.  My first born.

I hope and pray we continue having this wonderful connection we have.

Love,
Mommy