Being a Mommy

Being a mommy on any day is hard.  It's also amazing and incredible.  But very often it's hard.  Like, every single day it's hard in some way.

Today a teacher came back to work after being with her infant son for the last twelve weeks.  We all remember that first day back.  It's painful.  Nope.  It's torture.  It's a day you never forget.  Even after three kids, and a FIVE month maternity leave, it was painful.

Today I also threw a shower for a first time mom.  I wrote her a two page letter about what a magical time this is.  And how difficult motherhood is.  It is magical and amazing and hard all at once.  It seems, forever.  That's pretty much what I've gotten out of this gig I've been living for the last (nearly) eight years.  It's totally awesome and pretty much difficult ever day.  But, after I typed that, I wonder, isn't everything worth really amazing?  It's not easy to get to Playa del Carmen.  My job is hard every day.  Marriage is beautiful but trying.

I listened as moms threw in their advice about what to do with what.  And what their baby liked.  And how they know that book by heart...still.

When I was given baby showers way back in '06 I have to admit, I was annoyed by these moms.  What, exactly, does your baby (who is probably 17 by now) having liked Fox in Socks each and every night have to do with my unborn child exactly?

Now I get it.

I so get it.

It's looking at this woman who's belly is practically out to her knees when sitting and thinking, "You don't know.  You have no idea how your heart is going to grow."

Even though this shower was supposed to be a couple weeks ago at Laura's amazing house, then was rescheduled for the following morning, but school was canceled due to the snow, we finally had it today in the media center at school.

It was not what I envisioned, but it did the trick.  We celebrated that baby.  We ate cake, played some fun games (yes, I created some pretty cute games!!!) and watched J open some very thoughtful gifts.

Every mom in the room reminisced whether they shared or not.  I know several of the ladies there wished they were the one in that rocking chair.  I hope and pray they will preggers soon.

It was an emotional day.  I sped home hoping I'd make it in time for Brecken's before bottle.  I did.  I sang him our songs.  I rubbed his little eyebrows.  I caressed his chubby fist holding his bottle.  I thought of the nights I dreamt of touching him.  I am so very thankful we have him to complete our family.  With his birthday approaching, I often think about where I was one year ago.  I was exactly where J is now.  Two centimeters dilated.   Wondering.  Dreaming. Hoping. Wishing.

One year flies by.  As my friend Amanda told me when Victoria was an infant: The days creep by when they're little, but the years fly by when they're older.

So true.

(A Surprise) Bonus Day AGAIN!

Maybe you're getting tired of hearing this....but I'm not:

BONUS DAY!

Yes, seriously school was cancelled for the FIFTH time this year!

We made one up last week and we'll make another up in April but there is NOTHING like the shock of getting ready in the morning and hearing your husband yell, "Kel!  It's closed again!!"

Totally awesome!  My dad surprised us at 10am with a bag of fruit and donuts and took the kids to Chuck E. Cheese.  It was closed when they got there but I've received a text with a pic of C going to town on a bag of cotton candy.  They've been gone for 5 hours as of now.

I spent the day loving on Brecken.  Now that's he's walking it's harder to keep track of him and even harder to take pictures of him.  They're all blurry.  He continues to be the sweetest baby that every lived.  These bonus days are all about spending unexpected time with my kids (and catching up on laundry).  This winter will be one we talk about for years to come!

Face Painting Mishap

For over a week now Christian is asking if he can use the face paints.  He even asked after he got ready for school this morning.  Every time I say no, he looks so disappointed.  I assured him after school today, he could do it.  We got home and he was first to put his folder and lunch box on the counter and he was outta there.  First time ever, he got his after school things taken care of before Victoria.  He was in the bathroom for a while and Victoria was playing with Brecken while I made dinner.  Christian came out with a face THICK with face paint, mostly black and red.  Lips, eyebrows, he was covered.  We ate dinner and then Victoria wanted to do it.  While they were both in the bathroom applying even more face paints I was having a mini dance party in the kitchen with Brecken.  He's fascinated with the radio right now.  I does a baby gasp when the singing starts and he has to stare at the radio the whole time we're dancing.  He'll bop around and laugh but he'll keep at least one eye on the radio.

Soon both big kids were covered in face paint and V said, "Do you think Christian should have gotten face paint all over your good while towel?"  I went in and inspected and said, "How do you suppose that towel is going to get clean?"  "I'll totally take care of it," he said.  He scrubbed that towel in the bathroom sink with hand soap and turns to me as I'm giving the baby a bath and said, "I like washing towels like this.  I could do them all for you."  How cute is that?

As I got the baby out of the bath I gave them each a darker colored washcloth and gave them the directions to, "Not touch a thing" and get in the bath.  They headed downstairs and I got Brecken ready for bed and gave him his bottle.  I cleaned up the dinner mess and started on the food for J's shower tomorrow.  The kids are able to start the water and they'll play for a while before I go down to scrub hair and make sure they are actually clean.

Just before I was about to head down Christian comes running up and said, "Don't worry Victoria is ok."  Ummmm, that can only mean one thing - something is NOT ok.  I went down there and naked Christian was right behind me.  Victoria saw me and became hysterical and said, "You're going to wish you never had me!"  Talk about dramatic!  I said, "Don't ever say that.  Remember, I'll always love you, no matter what.  What's wrong?"  While literally bawling she said she had gotten face paint on the couch.  I went to look.  There were two small red smudges and I could see she had already tried to wipe clean.  I didn't say anything as I walked back into the bathroom.  They were both crying really hard saying the most dramatic crazy things like,  "What is our punishment?"  Now mind you, neither have ever really been punished for anything.  Time outs here and there when they're fighting but really we just talk things out.  So them being worried about being "punished" was kind of funny.  Christian said, "What are you going to do to me?  I'm so worried I kinda feel like I'm going to throw up!"  All the while crying hysterically.  I just looked at him like - What the heck is wrong with you??  Seriously, they were so worked up, it was almost funny.  I sat there not saying a word and they both kept going on and on and on.  They cleaned the face paint from the side of the tub really well and continued to cry.  They finally got cleaned up (except for the nice face paint stains left on their cute little faces) and out of the tub.

All I said was, "Jammies, teeth, bed."  Off like a shot they both ran.  It was seriously unreal.  They both went straight to bed.  I kissed and prayed with Christian and his eyes were closing at 6:35.  He was exhausted.  Explained why he was so emotional.  I finished making the food for J's shower and then headed down to see V.  She had asked if she could take her new media books down with her, so I knew she was reading.  I walked into her room and she looked so sad.  She asked if we could cuddled.  I got her all tucked in and cuddled up with her.  She said, "Mommy, how are you going to punish me?"  "I'm not Victoria.  It was an accident.  It's over.  No biggie."  (Clearly the guilt of this mishap was enough!!)  She looked at me so relieved and hugged me tight.  We prayed and her "extra" was for a forgiving Mommy and for a Mommy who loves for her.  It was so sweet.  As I cuddled her I could feel her body relax.  She was completely sleeping by 7:00.  Apparently, serving at Culver's last night, wore her out!

The face paint came out of the couch and carpet with a little Shout.  I threw away the rest of the face paint.  I'm predicting both kids sleep hard and (hopefully) past 6:30 tomorrow.  Even though it was pretty uneventful (in my eyes), I bet it's a night they won't forget anytime soon.

My Favorite Day

Everyone knows today, is my favorite day.

Valentine's Day.

I love this day because I love to give when it's not expected!

Mark and I decorated the kitchen last night for the kids.  He blew up huge red balloons and I wrote different things on them such as: My First Valentine and hung it above B's high chair.  And Love in fancy cursive.  And We Love You! And Victoria, Christian & Brecken.  Nothing fancy but they LOVED it this morning.  There was a gift for each of them (ok, there actually wasn't one for the baby but nobody seemed to notice).  Mark created his own little thing after I went to sleep with 9 (yrs we are married) helium balloons and my favorite candy and a fancy card.  Everything had been hidden in the garage.

I plan for Valentine's Day literally months in advance.

Cards.  Photos.  Personalized gifts. I. Love. It. All.

However, somehow I forgot to buy my sweet husband a gift.  I went out last night, on Valentine's Eve which I used to shake my head at him doing.  I did find him a couple nice things.

I got home at 7:00 and pulled each kid away from story time with him to sign his card.
Then he went to tuck them in and I sat on the bed writing in his card and I actually thought of signing the card, "Your Busy Wife." Because that's how I felt.  Somedays I can't do enough.  And that was one of them.  I didn't sign it like that.  He deserves more time than anyone else and I need to recognize that. (But in reality he didn't get it.  Lesson for next year.)

Here's how today went down in no particular order:  that keeps things interesting!

Victoria - yesterday- at her Vday party.  It was yesterday because today was added as a teaching day due to our "Bonus Days" that I'd like to retract!

Her super cute WBL box!

I always have my students make them at school (aka Best Day of the Year!!)

but her teacher had them do it at home which was also super cool.

Aka - Momma got to do it twice!

Mark being the Mystery Reading in kindergarten.

Adorable!

Except for the small fact that his teacher signed him up for reading at free time.

Even Christian was disappointed.

#whatwasshethinking

My Little Valentine on His First Valentine

This is his last first people! 

(Except for Presidents' Day - which I will turn into a big deal since he is exactly 11 months that day!)

#ofcourseshewill

Of course I HAD to cover that sweet little thing in kisses.

My vision and these pics didn't match.

But it was 7am.

So good is good.

Love is love.

Believe me.

He felt it!

The big kids wanted lipstick kisses too, but I thought they were a bit too old!

Turns out I love this one the most.

We put him back in there to reset the photo shoot but I like this one the best!

Kinda like, Yep, I can't even get outta my crib without her kisses!

I (and yesterday's Mystery Reader - aka Mark) really decorated my classroom.

Streamers, rose petals all, over signs, it was super cute.  

They loved every bit of it.

I had something special for each subject planned.

During the very first subject one of my very favorite 

former students brought in a bouquet of roses from Mark.

She said, "I bet they're from you husband.  But, you better open the card."

From the mouth of a 5th grader from a divorced family.

I opened the card in front of her and said, "Yep, it's from him!"

She said, "That's great! (relieved?) The rose petals are a nice touch. 

Have a great favorite day of the year!"

And she walked out.

She remembered it was my favorite day of the year.

That's a gift in it's self!

My Favorite Mystery Reader stopped in at 9:30.

She's been a Mystery Readers since she was two years old.

In that same chair.

Today I sat there watching her read a book she had never read before.

(Yes, I was unprepared.  She knew she was going to be a Mystery Reader today but we forget to choose a book.  So I texted our fantastic daycare lady to have her call me.  I told her I'd put a bunch of new Vday books on her desk and she could choose one and show up at 9:30).

I figured she'd pick one and read it in advance, but I knew she didn't because she'd turn the page and gasp or laugh.  She's such a good reader, she totally pulled it off without a hitch.

My students only talked about what a great reader 

she was and good readers read and they should read more.  

My words, coming out of their mouths.

A gift.

One of my student's mom's popped in.

She doesn't know english and I know about 1% spanish which equals a language barrier.

We encounter each other every single morning but we can get through it.

Today was different.

She was carrying a large box.

She went to hand it to me and looked right into my eyes and the only words I understood were no students but familia.

She wanted this for my family.  Not my students.

I got a scissors and opened the box and it was a GORGEOUS cake.

Huge gorgeous cake that said Happy Valentine's Day.

(She works at a bakery.)

She looked at me and spoke several paragraphs in spanish and I literally didn't even recognize one word she said.  But the way she looked into my eyes saying it at tears dwelled in her eyes I knew what she was saying.

Thank you.

I just nodded and tears came to my eyes and I touched her arm and she hugged me.

It was amazing.

A gift.

My Favorite Day didn't disappoint.

It was more than I could have imagined.

I just realized I didn't mention my Secret Valentine all week.

I was Laura's and I bought every Minnie or Mickey Mouse (she went to Disney this fall) I could find.

Then I topped off the finale with a whole cake.

I have to say I was a Rock Star Secret Valentine and I kinda think she thought it was me;-)

My valentine certainly knew me.

Oreos in a cute heart bucket.

Then Midnight Hersheys (who knows those are my fave?)

Next, I got Arby and Horsey sauce. Seriously, who knows I'm obsessed with that?

I thought Laura was feeding someone info! 

Today was NKOTB wine charms from etsy!

It was Laura.

We had each other!!

Cutest thing ever!!

Our VDay plans fell through tonight.  I'm just was happy relaxing and blogging about it.

This makes me want to blog about that Valentine's Day out at restaurants and having horror stories.

Maybe next year.

For now,  let's love the Pandora Valentine channel and keep the Best Valentine's Day Ever alive!

You're Growing Too Fast!

Dear Brecken,

Someone asked me today if I was planning on having another baby.  I quickly answered NO!  I don’t want another baby.  What I really really want is to live through this first year of your life all over again.  I would say this first year of your life has been my most favorite year of my life.  We had a rough start and many appointments over the summer that were scary and stressful.  Maybe that’s what makes me appreciate you so much more.  You are my extra.  My "thank you so much God for giving us this wonderful baby", baby.  You made our family perfectly perfect and complete.  Just about every day I think of where I was last year at this time.  Patiently rubbing my belly wondering if you were a girl or a boy.  The excitement of wondering what your birthday would be.  Wondering how your sister and brother would adjust when you were finally home. 

When my friends become new moms I always tell them that first year goes so fast.  Write everything down.  Take tons of pictures.  Take video.  Next thing you know, he’ll be one!  It is so true and I’m eating my words.  I did take a ton of pictures,  but not enough video and didn’t keep even close to enough notes about your monthly development.  You grew so fast.  You’re wearing size 18 month clothes. You can take up to six steps at a time.  You are one huge baby laying half on half off of my lap when I give you a bottle before bed. Your brother and sister didn’t take a bottle at this age.  However, I want you to love your bottle.  The thought of not having that time together at the end of the day just about breaks my heart.  Your bottle is the only thing that gets you to hold still long enough to smell your hair and touch your super soft cheeks and rub your belly.    I’m going to keep you a baby at least until your first birthday.  

Love, Mommy

Happy Sixth Birthday Christian!

At 6:27am, six years ago today I had a baby.  It was a beautiful, perfect pregnancy.  It was a quick and perfectly natural delivery.  When I held that baby for the first time it was the fastest I'd ever fallen in love.  The second his bare skin touched mine my heart was his.  I kissed his slimy head and didn't want to ever let go.  He was seven pounds, fourteen ounces of perfectness.  I was so at peace.  

January 25, 2008

I just reread your baby book.

I loved how I looked when I was pregnant with you!

6:00am on January 28, 2008

It was sooo worth it!

Mama Jeanne brought Victoria to the hospital just a couple hours after you were born.

She couldn't wait to get her hands on you!

The day you were born I worried how having a second baby would change our family.

Six years later you are your sister's best friend and she yours.

I couldn't have dreamt it any better.

This is January 29, 2008, the morning we took you home.

We were only in the hospital for 29 hours.

You were immediately a wonderful addition to our family!

Six short years later...

My how things change!

Papa and Mama were so excited to meet you!

They bought your birthday dinner tonight.

You chose Old Country Buffet.

I think you might wear your birthday crown until you're seven!

That was one of the highlights of your day, you said:-)

I've loved to watch you sleep since the day you were born.

I have dozens of pictures of you sleeping.

You look so peaceful and perfect.

Here you are tonight, on your sixth birthday.

You still look like a sweet peaceful little angel.

Most night I cover you up, move your body to the middle of the bed and kiss your cheeks and forehead and whisper to you what a good boy you are and how much I love you.

I will keep doing that until you are old enough to stay up later than me.

Then I'll just do it in the morning when you sleep in.

I've got it all figured out.

Your favorite sport is baseball and Joe Mauer (and Jonathan) is your favorite athlete, 

we had a small family party with a TWINS theme.

You loved sporting your Mauer jersey and TWINS hat.

Since your party you've commented how much you love this picture.

You are old enough now to appreciate what people do for you.

I love that about you.

January 28, 2014.

Whoa, were you excited!

The Birthday Bird came and decorated the house.

You woke me up at exactly 6:00 and said,

"You're never going to believe what the Birthday Bird did!!"

Brecken gave you a Superman cape and wrist band that plays the theme song.

You kissed him and thanked him.

Even though there was a chance school would be closed today due to cold weather

(-35 windchill) you were excited when you got to school and got your crown.

You've been talking about the crown for a couple weeks now.

Even though you are getting older, you still love to cuddle.

You love when I scratch your back.

You love when I read Junie B. Jones to you.

You love to see me in school.

You still wave at me with a huge, but somewhat shy smile.

You are a friend to your big sister.

You are a role model to your little brother.

You can be wild, but yet a good listener.

You are so athletic, but yet, sometimes too shy to participate.

You are smart and learning to read.

You still reach for my hand when we're walking next to each other.

You recently learned how to write your last name.

You are my helper.

You love to do jobs.

You love to receive compliments.

You are so cute, I can't help but kiss you at least a dozen times a day

 - sometimes even at school;-)

I love you so very much.

Happy Sixth Birthday to My Little Boy!

Love, 

Mommy

2008 in More Ways Than One

Today is two days away from Christian's 6th birthday.  He happen to ask me how many months old he is.  I figured out he's 72 months.  Then I wanted to figure out how many days old he is.  He's 2,008 days old today.  He was also born in 2008.

Fun fact of the day!