The batteries are charging for the little camera, the big camera and the video camera. The Mickey Mouse cake is waiting with the brand new candles that spell out his name and a Mickey Mouse. The juice boxes are bagged and waiting. The outfits are picked out and waiting.
Tomorrow is Christian's third birthday party. I can wait. It is finally making me sad my baby is turning three. I can't see the screen because of my tears. Today he swam on his own for the first time. It's so exciting he's growing and becoming independent. Today I called him my baby and he immediately corrected me, "I not baby!! I big boy!!" He's telling people he's turning 7 :)
Tomorrow we will have a wonderful time. Tomorrow is the last day he'll be two. Very exciting, but for Mommy it's bittersweet. I'm afraid he'll wake tonight and want to cuddle. . .because if he does I know I will give up a night of sleep to look at his little face to try to memorize how he looks right now. To freeze it in my brain so I won't forget. But I will. I want to remember his cute little grammatical errors in his speech. How he always mixes up her and she and I and me. I want to remember how much he loves to be near me. How he asks to hold my hand. How he asks to cuddle for one no two no FIVE more minutes before bed each night. How he's pretending he can read and just says random things about the picture. How he thanks God every night for the walls and the pictures because he just looks around and names things to be thankful for. I want to remember how he's still so little I lift him into his car seat and strap him in- even though so many mornings I've wished for him to be big enough to do it himself. I want to remember how he enjoys cartoons and asks questions about why things are happening. I want to remember how little his socks are that I just folded. I want to remember how sweet his two year old voice is. And that laugh. The cutest thing I've ever heard. I want to remember potty training him. It's difficult now, but next year I may miss changing those diapers. Maybe. :)
I decided not to make a New Year's Resolution this year. I just changed my mind. In 2011 I'm going to take a hell of a lot more video of my children. We have a fraction of Christian by three as we do of Victoria and I'm going to make up for it in 2011 because I want to remember these precious times. I want to be able to go back and remember and cherish just how sweet he is.
In the end I won't remember it all. But I will live in the moment and appreciate it now.